Shiver Me Timbers, Matey!

There are few things in life so liberating as a pirate costume. I've been a costumed character before--my most famous role was the Humana Women's Hospital Stork. But working at this year's Zoo Boo was the most fun I've had in ages. Not only did I get to look like a pirate, and talk like a pirate, but little kids actually BELIEVED I was a pirate! No one at the health fair ever believed I was a real stork. I invited countless 4 year olds to "join me pirate crew," and offered them a share o' me treasure (tricker treatin' candy.) I pointed to the rubber skeleton in the shark tank and solemnly informed them, "That be what happens to a pirate who can't swim." In return I got giggles, looks of awe, and got to see two of the funniest costumes ever. One was a kid who couldn't have been more than 5, dressed as Elvis--late Elvis, with the huge sideburns and oversize glasses. Those are some sick parents.... The other one was teeny, like maybe 3 or 4, dressed like a giant trout. From the front he was just kind of white, with a pointy head; then he walked past me, and there's this huge poofy stuffed fish tail and body kind of waving back and forth as he walked. I almost fell over laughing, it totally destroyed my pirate demeanor for about 30 seconds. Arrrr.... That be a good one.

I'm trying to resist the impulse to political post as the election draws closer, but it's hard. This new "Wolves" commercial from the Bush campaign pisses me the hell off. Not only is it a feeble attempt at fearmongering, but it strikes yet another blow to the environmental movement's attempts to re-educate the public about real wolves. Nice going, Mr. "I'm a good steward of the land." Only if the land doesn't contain any trees, plants, or animals on it. Pbbt.