Saturday, September 27, 2008

GAAAA THERE IS A HUGE SPIDER IN MY MAILBOX

At the moment, he and I have reached a kind of detente; our agreement involves my gently poking him with a stick, and him angrily waving his pedipalps while ceding the high ground to me long enough for me to grab the mail. However, I'm a little worried. He's awfully big... there's nothing to say he won't start opening my mail and signing for packages while he's in there.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

The Good, the Bad, and the Un-be-freakin-lievable

Robin McKinley's got a new novel out; I've read it, it's lovely, and if you like fantasy/fairy tales/YA fiction and AREN'T reading Robin's books, then what the hell's wrong with ya? Give 'em a try! I've been a fan of her stuff since college--LaraB, didn't we have a copy of The Blue Sword kicking around Ottoman Central at one time? I know it wasn't the pizza book, at least--and she is notable, among other things, for having heroic female characters that Don't Suck. She's got a couple adult novels as well--my favorite is her retelling of the Robin Hood story, and she's also got a good vampire novel. Anyway, Robin's a friend and a talented author to boot, and so I figured a little shameless plugging was not out of place here.

Since into each life some rain must fall, I should also tell you that I finally got around to watching the MST3K version of one of the most godawful B-movies it has ever been my wretched experience to watch: Teenagers from Outer Space (1959.) Sweet mother of god, what a horrible film. Even Joel and the gang could not make watching this movie a pleasurable experience for me--unlike The Creeping Terror, which is still in the top eschelon of worst films ever formally released. I could laugh at Creeping Terror. But this.... oh god. What do you get when you combine actors so wooden you could carve your name in them, an alien teen named "Derek" whose space uniform is obviously a jumpsuit with electrical tape piping, a "disintegrator ray" which is obviously a toy gun purchased for 25 cents from the Woolworth's up the street from the studio, and a monster which only appears in the final 5 minutes of the film and is, I shit you not, created by waving a live lobster in front of a spotlight and filming its shadow menacing the townspeople? You get CRAP, that's what you get. Further proof that the creationists were right and God really IS dead in our secular society.

But for sheer "AUGH MY BRAIN" value this week, I present you with the short to end all shorts: Mr. B Natural. Here's part 1, and here's Part 2. It's like watching the Death of Music Itself. If listening to "Mister" B-Natural chirp on and on doesn't make you want to bludgeon yourself repeatedly with a sousaphone, then you're just not a music lover.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

And the Lord said, Let There Be Photos.

And there were photos. And some of them were even good.
Click here to see the Creation Museum Photoset!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Remember Remember the 8th of September

Last Monday marked the realization of a long-held dream for me. I went to the Newport Aquarium, which was every bit as fabulous as I’d been led to believe. I petted the sharks; I watched the raysharks sail overhead in their immersive reef tank environment (and holy shit is that cool); I saw otters, frogs, alligators, turtles, jellyfish, and other things that make me marvel at the amazing beauty and diversity of our natural world. And then… Then we went to the Creation Museum.

I consider myself a religious person. I consider myself a pretty open-minded person generally. But I just cannot wrap my head around biblical literalism. So walking into the Creation Museum, I was prepared for a WTF experience of (dare I say) Biblical Proportions. And I was not disappointed!

The Creation Museum, if you've not encountered it before, is a museum-cum-entertainment facility run by and directed at the followers of a ministry called Answers in Genesis, whose basic premise is that the book of Genesis (not to mention the rest of the bible) must be taken literally, word for word--and therefore, the earth must only be about 6000 years old. With that premise, they then go on to explain fossils, dinosaur/dragon conflation, diversity of species, and oh yes, the Fall of Man and the evils of the ACLU. To be fair, let me start by saying that the museum itself is a beautiful facility, some gorgeous design concepts, and that everyone who works there was the soul of niceness--no proselytizing or pushyness, they really did just kind of leave you to it. As a museum professional, I have to say I was a little disappointed at the complete lack of interactivity--there were two interactives, both in the Noah's ark room, and both frankly kind of lame. It was more like a walkthrough theme park ride than a museum in the sense that I usually use the word. But all that aside... HOLY CRAP THAT'S SOME F'D UP SHIT. From the dueling paleontologists (kindly white guy with a godly perspective vs. foolish Asian pagan scientist) to the hellishly creepy child manniquins leading you toward the light, to the brachiosaurs entering the Ark, to the label explaining why incest used to be OK, this museum is a testament to the cracked out fringe of Christian society. I'm not saying I didn't have fun there, mind you.
Any museum that lets me ride a ceratopsian is OK in my book. There will be a full photoset on Flickr shortly, with more amazing Creation Museum goodness.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Summer Colds are TEH ALSOME.

Whose dumbass idea was it to have cold viruses available year round, anyway? I've got a streaming head cold, have gone through a box and a half of kleenex since I got up this morning, and it's effing September for god's sake! I'm supposed to feel like this in FEBRUARY! Not when it's fall, and especially not when I've got 2 days training at work; as this is cross-departmental training, I have potentially infected people from HR, Security and Safety, Programs and Interpretation, School Services, and Purchasing, all at one fell sneeze. It's wretched.

Even more wretched is the unfulfilled promise of rain here. It seems odd to be wishing so hard for rain while Gustav is all in the news--but we've hardly had a drop since the end of July and it's getting a little grim here. So this evening we had wind, we had thunder, presumably somewhere in the general vicinity got a shower. But here, nada. Sigh. I love the sound of rain on the roof, particularly when I'm sick... it'd be a nice thing to go to bed early with rain outside. I'll cross my fingers, and go check the radar.