Mars Needs Women
Oddly enough, as it happens, I live within walking distance of one of the most powerful telescopes in the midwest. It's at Holcomb Observatory at Butler University, and it's a 38" monster. Now, knowing that Mars is presently zinging past the earth at a distance of mere millions of miles, I figured that now was the time to take advantage of Holcomb and go have a peek through the telescope. Figured I'd head over there Wednesday night, catch the 9 pm planet'arium show and then check out Mars.
Only, when I reached Butler campus and wandered around the Lily music hall toward the Observatory, what did I see but about 500 people standing in line outside the building? The line went all the way down the hill where the Observatory is perched, and part way around the long cement sidewalk that loops below it. Good god, thought I. I could just come back another night.... OR I could stand in line for 2 whole hours to get a look through the scope. Which is what I did, of course. I swear, it was like being at a Dead show--all these folks milling around, kids taking turns rolling down the hill in the grass, people shouting out entertaining Mars facts to one another.... A bunch of dudes from the Astrophysics Dept. there had set up smaller telesecopes on the lawn, and you could go kill some time looking through those while you waited. It was just plain fun, and I didn't mind the standing. (At least til the backache hit, about 18 hours later.) Finally, though, I got into the Observatory, climbed the 3 flights of stairs to the room with the view... And saw it. Mars, triumphant. Polar Ice Caps and all. I'd imagined it showing a little more color, it was pretty much just bright greyish with a faint orange tint. But it was still cool...
And to Sarah, whose attempt to see Mars at the Adler in Chicago was a tragic comedy of errors, I have only these words of sympathy: BWAAA-HAAAAA!!!!
Thursday, August 28, 2003
Gaahhh! It's Got Me!!!
OK, Sitemeter is totally, horribly fascinating in an obsessively self-involved way. Not only does it guilt me into thinking about more frequent posts (a thing which Jeremy has been trying to do for months, without success) but I'm captivated by the occasional totally random visitor to my site. This morning, someone did a google search for the phrase "Ninja Hedge." Cautionary Tale is the FIRST SITE to come up on Google when you search for ninja hedge! Can you believe it? You'd think Ben Edlund would have gobbled up ninjahedge.com back in the early 90's....
OK, Sitemeter is totally, horribly fascinating in an obsessively self-involved way. Not only does it guilt me into thinking about more frequent posts (a thing which Jeremy has been trying to do for months, without success) but I'm captivated by the occasional totally random visitor to my site. This morning, someone did a google search for the phrase "Ninja Hedge." Cautionary Tale is the FIRST SITE to come up on Google when you search for ninja hedge! Can you believe it? You'd think Ben Edlund would have gobbled up ninjahedge.com back in the early 90's....
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Thank God the Tiki Bar Was Open...
Musically, it’s been a great week! Non-musically, only so-so. But that’s not the point. Point is, I got to go to a fantastic concert on Saturday night, for only $15. John Hiatt is one of my all-time favorite artists; I’m usually frustrated when he comes to town because his concerts sell out so fast. Anyone who’s ever looked at my CD collection knows I have pretty shallow and eclectic taste in music--II have a lot of different stuff, but seldom more than one or two albums per artist. There are exceptions, of course, and one of them is John Hiatt. He’s from Indianapolis, he’s got a quirky sense of humor and his stuff rides the rail between country (which I hate) and blues rock. He’s written a lot of stuff that other people cover, though I find I usually prefer his original versions anyway. So John was playing this charity blues street festival this weekend, along with Johnny A., who’s also pretty freakin’ amazing if you love the blues. It was a “bring your own chair” event, to which of course I failed to bring a chair. The street was packed for a full block with people who DID bring a chair, and I ended up spending the concert standing in a doorway on Mass. Ave, about 50 feet from the stage, with a great view and great sound. John Hiatt’s set was 2 hours of acoustic solo material, and it was the best $15 I could possibly have spent. Sometimes you get the blues.... and sometimes you just need the blues. I needed some blues in my life, and Saturday delivered for me.
THEN, last night, I finally finally finally got to hear my friend Steve’s band, The Bishops, playing at a local bar. It’s been my curse for months that I either don’t know when Steve’s got a gig until after it happens, or I find out and there’s no way I can go. At last, another dream fulfilled. Steve’s a fantastic guitarist, and once they got the sound mixed so you could actually hear him over the relentless rythym guitar, they sounded pretty good! It’s a cover band; I still aspire to hear his other band, who do original music. But that’ll have to wait, they don’t get gigs as often as the cover band (naturally.) And tomorrow, I’ll have the pleasure of hearing my friend Emily in concert for the first time. She does original stuff, solo acoustic at the moment; reminds me a bit of Indigo Girls style sound, and she’s quite good. I’d link you to her website, but she doesn’t have one at the moment. But if you like that sort of music and want to give her a try, let me know! Her CD’s $10, pretty reasonable really.
And finally, I signed up for the iTunes Store on Apple.com! The future of music on the internet, legal downloads for $1 apiece. Hell, that’s not so bad, considering the quality of the dl is guaranteed, I don’t have to worry about someone disconnecting while I’m shopping their stuff, and I won’t be prosecuted for doing it. Pirate ship is in drydock, all hail iTunes.
Musically, it’s been a great week! Non-musically, only so-so. But that’s not the point. Point is, I got to go to a fantastic concert on Saturday night, for only $15. John Hiatt is one of my all-time favorite artists; I’m usually frustrated when he comes to town because his concerts sell out so fast. Anyone who’s ever looked at my CD collection knows I have pretty shallow and eclectic taste in music--II have a lot of different stuff, but seldom more than one or two albums per artist. There are exceptions, of course, and one of them is John Hiatt. He’s from Indianapolis, he’s got a quirky sense of humor and his stuff rides the rail between country (which I hate) and blues rock. He’s written a lot of stuff that other people cover, though I find I usually prefer his original versions anyway. So John was playing this charity blues street festival this weekend, along with Johnny A., who’s also pretty freakin’ amazing if you love the blues. It was a “bring your own chair” event, to which of course I failed to bring a chair. The street was packed for a full block with people who DID bring a chair, and I ended up spending the concert standing in a doorway on Mass. Ave, about 50 feet from the stage, with a great view and great sound. John Hiatt’s set was 2 hours of acoustic solo material, and it was the best $15 I could possibly have spent. Sometimes you get the blues.... and sometimes you just need the blues. I needed some blues in my life, and Saturday delivered for me.
THEN, last night, I finally finally finally got to hear my friend Steve’s band, The Bishops, playing at a local bar. It’s been my curse for months that I either don’t know when Steve’s got a gig until after it happens, or I find out and there’s no way I can go. At last, another dream fulfilled. Steve’s a fantastic guitarist, and once they got the sound mixed so you could actually hear him over the relentless rythym guitar, they sounded pretty good! It’s a cover band; I still aspire to hear his other band, who do original music. But that’ll have to wait, they don’t get gigs as often as the cover band (naturally.) And tomorrow, I’ll have the pleasure of hearing my friend Emily in concert for the first time. She does original stuff, solo acoustic at the moment; reminds me a bit of Indigo Girls style sound, and she’s quite good. I’d link you to her website, but she doesn’t have one at the moment. But if you like that sort of music and want to give her a try, let me know! Her CD’s $10, pretty reasonable really.
And finally, I signed up for the iTunes Store on Apple.com! The future of music on the internet, legal downloads for $1 apiece. Hell, that’s not so bad, considering the quality of the dl is guaranteed, I don’t have to worry about someone disconnecting while I’m shopping their stuff, and I won’t be prosecuted for doing it. Pirate ship is in drydock, all hail iTunes.
Monday, August 25, 2003
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Hmm, What an Odd Aftertaste....
I finally, FINALLY went out to my garden today to see how bad things had gotten. The answer, of course, was bad. Bad like my cucumber plant had utterly disappeared, dying a lonely death beneath the weeds; bad like my bush beans had been completely decimated by the japanese beetles; bad like my tomato plants had produced so many huge, succulently ripe tomatoes that they had bent their tomato cages beneath their weight and had toppled over into the neighbor's plot in one solid viney mass. Bad like all my basil was flowering. For basil to flourish, you have to pinch off the flowers so that the plant will divert its energy into making more and bigger leaves (so it can make more flowers for you to pinch off. It's cruel, I know.) Bigger leaves means more pesto. So I ignored the weeds and the beans, picked the tomatoes, and then started pinching the flowers off the basil. About halfway around the first plant I found a flower that didn't match; thought to myself, sayyyy.... that's not basil. That's deadly nightshade.
Yep. Nightshade is a fairly common weed in this parts, so it's not too unreasonable it's in my garden--but pretty disconcerting that it's growing right next to my basil. While the flowers and little berries are quite distinctive, the leaf is not entirely unlike lemon basil in both size and shape... And while deadly nightshade isn't really deadly, at least for a healthy adult human, it still probably wouldn't be a great idea to get it mixed in with the pesto. Looks like I've got some more weeding to do...sigh....
I finally, FINALLY went out to my garden today to see how bad things had gotten. The answer, of course, was bad. Bad like my cucumber plant had utterly disappeared, dying a lonely death beneath the weeds; bad like my bush beans had been completely decimated by the japanese beetles; bad like my tomato plants had produced so many huge, succulently ripe tomatoes that they had bent their tomato cages beneath their weight and had toppled over into the neighbor's plot in one solid viney mass. Bad like all my basil was flowering. For basil to flourish, you have to pinch off the flowers so that the plant will divert its energy into making more and bigger leaves (so it can make more flowers for you to pinch off. It's cruel, I know.) Bigger leaves means more pesto. So I ignored the weeds and the beans, picked the tomatoes, and then started pinching the flowers off the basil. About halfway around the first plant I found a flower that didn't match; thought to myself, sayyyy.... that's not basil. That's deadly nightshade.
Yep. Nightshade is a fairly common weed in this parts, so it's not too unreasonable it's in my garden--but pretty disconcerting that it's growing right next to my basil. While the flowers and little berries are quite distinctive, the leaf is not entirely unlike lemon basil in both size and shape... And while deadly nightshade isn't really deadly, at least for a healthy adult human, it still probably wouldn't be a great idea to get it mixed in with the pesto. Looks like I've got some more weeding to do...sigh....
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Iwantone Iwantone Iwantone!!
It's "Shark Week" on Discovery, so naturally I had to flip past it while vegging out this evening. Two words, folks: CHUM CANNON. Yes. It's a cannon that fires a mass of fish blood and guts into the water to attract sharks for filming purposes. A cannon! That shoots chum!!!!
I can think of so many uses for this. Most of them involve cruising the strip, firing chum at unsuspecting pedestrians. Think about it! It'd be just like "Carrie"! Only more mobile! Wow.
It's "Shark Week" on Discovery, so naturally I had to flip past it while vegging out this evening. Two words, folks: CHUM CANNON. Yes. It's a cannon that fires a mass of fish blood and guts into the water to attract sharks for filming purposes. A cannon! That shoots chum!!!!
I can think of so many uses for this. Most of them involve cruising the strip, firing chum at unsuspecting pedestrians. Think about it! It'd be just like "Carrie"! Only more mobile! Wow.
Sunday, August 10, 2003
Unemployment, here I come.
All good things come to an end, and so it is with my job at the Indianapolis Zoo. This is my final week of digging in the dirt, and I have to say I'm going to miss it. I'll miss the people, I'll miss being outdoors all day... and, of course, I'll miss the paycheck. Not that it was a huge paycheck, I've still been surviving with the kind and generous assistance of my parents this summer--but it was something! And it was the first real paycheck I'd had in nearly a year when I started this job in May. Working 40 hours a week after a year of total inactivity was a bit of a shock; waking up at 5:30 to be at work on time at 7 was even more of a shock. But it was a good sort of shock, and it helped counteract the creeping edge of depression that comes from feeling that no one wants to hire you. I know I'm not a worthless pile (unless you're asking Jason, in which case I am a worthless pile) and I know there are lots of jobs out there which I could do with grace, skill, and aplomb. Knowing that is all well and good--but having it confirmed by someone who actually calls you up and says, "We want you, will you take the job?" is something else entirely. Thanks, Indianapolis Zoo, for helping me get my groove back.
So I start back to school next week, and I've got my old job in the Museum Studies office, assuming that my work study gets approved again. I just applied for a job at the Indiana State Museum, and we'll see what comes of that. Hopefully I can keep my momentum going.
And now I've got time to think about my own yard again! I'm contemplating burning bush and bayberry to replace the honeysuckle which forms a crappy-looking privacy hedge along the front of my property. Or maybe a ninja hedge, like in the Tick comic book of yore! I bet I could pick up some surplus ninjas cheap at Lowe's! Mmmm....ninja hedge....
All good things come to an end, and so it is with my job at the Indianapolis Zoo. This is my final week of digging in the dirt, and I have to say I'm going to miss it. I'll miss the people, I'll miss being outdoors all day... and, of course, I'll miss the paycheck. Not that it was a huge paycheck, I've still been surviving with the kind and generous assistance of my parents this summer--but it was something! And it was the first real paycheck I'd had in nearly a year when I started this job in May. Working 40 hours a week after a year of total inactivity was a bit of a shock; waking up at 5:30 to be at work on time at 7 was even more of a shock. But it was a good sort of shock, and it helped counteract the creeping edge of depression that comes from feeling that no one wants to hire you. I know I'm not a worthless pile (unless you're asking Jason, in which case I am a worthless pile) and I know there are lots of jobs out there which I could do with grace, skill, and aplomb. Knowing that is all well and good--but having it confirmed by someone who actually calls you up and says, "We want you, will you take the job?" is something else entirely. Thanks, Indianapolis Zoo, for helping me get my groove back.
So I start back to school next week, and I've got my old job in the Museum Studies office, assuming that my work study gets approved again. I just applied for a job at the Indiana State Museum, and we'll see what comes of that. Hopefully I can keep my momentum going.
And now I've got time to think about my own yard again! I'm contemplating burning bush and bayberry to replace the honeysuckle which forms a crappy-looking privacy hedge along the front of my property. Or maybe a ninja hedge, like in the Tick comic book of yore! I bet I could pick up some surplus ninjas cheap at Lowe's! Mmmm....ninja hedge....
Thursday, July 31, 2003
A Religious Experience...
(first, let me just say again how irritating it is that Blogger is unable to handle posts from a state that doesn't go on Daylight Savings? 99.9% of the time, who cares... but when I post on my birthday, I want to see the dateline say "July 30, 2003" dammit.)
So last night I got an excellent t-shirt as a gift. (the second excellent t-shirt I've gotten this week; for the story of the first, click here.) It's a black shirt from goodwill, never worn, from the Baptist Bible College of Indianapolis. The back of the shirt has a number of quotes screened on it; a couple from the bible, perfectly nice firey quotes from Isaiah and such. Then there are the slightly more corny quotes that caused my friend to actually purchase this shirt for me:
"God meant the Bible to be bread for our daily use, not just cake for special occasions!"
You hear that, folks? The bible ain't cake. The other good one is "Be careful how you live, You can be the only Bible some people read." To which Karen suggests we add a footnote: "Now available in Braille!" Heck, I might just have to start a ministry with that...
Lest folks think I am an utterly sacreligious pig, I should point out that my philosophy of religion for my own life is quite in-depth--which is one of the reasons I find distillation of religion into t-shirt form so darn funny. Anyway, I went ahead and followed Tripp's link to the Belief-O-Matic, just to clarify where I stand in the grand scheme of things (other than poking fun at Baptist t-shirts.) After answering 20 questions about my beliefs and their priority in my life, here's my top 5:
1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (99%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (98%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (96%)
5. Baha'i Faith (85%)
#3 surprised me a bit, just because it surprises me that it comes out only 2 % points different from Reform Judaism in my list, with the Quackers sandwiched in between. At any rate, it was interesting to me to see that nearly 20 years after deciding that Reform Judaism was the path I wanted to follow in my life, and after then spending those 20 years weaving back and forth on the issue of formal instruction and conversion, my core beliefs apparently still line up with where I thought I was going (philosophically) when I was 13. Maybe it's time I revisted this issue. OR, maybe I should look into Baha'i, just to make sure I'm not missing something.
(first, let me just say again how irritating it is that Blogger is unable to handle posts from a state that doesn't go on Daylight Savings? 99.9% of the time, who cares... but when I post on my birthday, I want to see the dateline say "July 30, 2003" dammit.)
So last night I got an excellent t-shirt as a gift. (the second excellent t-shirt I've gotten this week; for the story of the first, click here.) It's a black shirt from goodwill, never worn, from the Baptist Bible College of Indianapolis. The back of the shirt has a number of quotes screened on it; a couple from the bible, perfectly nice firey quotes from Isaiah and such. Then there are the slightly more corny quotes that caused my friend to actually purchase this shirt for me:
"God meant the Bible to be bread for our daily use, not just cake for special occasions!"
You hear that, folks? The bible ain't cake. The other good one is "Be careful how you live, You can be the only Bible some people read." To which Karen suggests we add a footnote: "Now available in Braille!" Heck, I might just have to start a ministry with that...
Lest folks think I am an utterly sacreligious pig, I should point out that my philosophy of religion for my own life is quite in-depth--which is one of the reasons I find distillation of religion into t-shirt form so darn funny. Anyway, I went ahead and followed Tripp's link to the Belief-O-Matic, just to clarify where I stand in the grand scheme of things (other than poking fun at Baptist t-shirts.) After answering 20 questions about my beliefs and their priority in my life, here's my top 5:
1. Reform Judaism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (99%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (98%)
4. Unitarian Universalism (96%)
5. Baha'i Faith (85%)
#3 surprised me a bit, just because it surprises me that it comes out only 2 % points different from Reform Judaism in my list, with the Quackers sandwiched in between. At any rate, it was interesting to me to see that nearly 20 years after deciding that Reform Judaism was the path I wanted to follow in my life, and after then spending those 20 years weaving back and forth on the issue of formal instruction and conversion, my core beliefs apparently still line up with where I thought I was going (philosophically) when I was 13. Maybe it's time I revisted this issue. OR, maybe I should look into Baha'i, just to make sure I'm not missing something.
No, I Didn't Fall In. Or, Happy Freakin' Birthday To Me!
I like to stretch my birthdays out. Especially after my depression at hitting 30, 3 years ago, I make it a mission to have the happiest freakin' birthdays possible. What makes me happy is being surrounded by friends, and doing something different than we usually do. This year being no exception, I planned a trip to Rustic Gardens, a mini golf course here in Indy that's been in operation since 1930. The course goes around an old farm yard, up hills and around trees and through the chicken coop, and it's just too cool to be believed. Only $2.50 for 18 holes, or $5 after 6. So I invited all my buds to come play mini golf with me, and then to go to the Broad Ripple Brewpub for food and beer and friend time.
BUT, now here's the best part, today was also "Seasonal Gardener Appreciation Day" at the zoo. That is to say, all our gardener bosses held a pitch-in for the seasonal help. We had masses and masses of food, and then--joy of joys!--we got to go over to the Marine Mammal building and have a personal encounter with the walruses and dolphins. I got to pet a goddam walrus today!! A WALRUS!!! It was amazing. They're very smart and darn cute to boot. The dolphin was cool as well, though more kind of nervous and shy. I'd always been told that touching a dolphin feels like touching a wet balloon, and I'd have to say that's true. But a >living< wet balloon, which is totally different from the ordinary kind. The walrus was kind of velvety and wet, and the whiskers (called vibrissae, I believe) are like really thick fishing line. It was just amazingly cool, and an excellent way to spend my birthday. Oh, and I got a twinkie with a candle in it from Kyle and Emily, and a personally drawn birthday card from Emily as well with a picture of me complaining about my advancing age.
Then after work it was the mini golf, which of course I did badly at--Andy W. and Francie tied in our foursome for the win, and i think Stephen trounced the other group but I never did hear the final scores there. Then at the Brewpub I had no less than 12 of my pals hanging out with me, and I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. So was it a good birthday? Abso-friggin-lutely.
I like to stretch my birthdays out. Especially after my depression at hitting 30, 3 years ago, I make it a mission to have the happiest freakin' birthdays possible. What makes me happy is being surrounded by friends, and doing something different than we usually do. This year being no exception, I planned a trip to Rustic Gardens, a mini golf course here in Indy that's been in operation since 1930. The course goes around an old farm yard, up hills and around trees and through the chicken coop, and it's just too cool to be believed. Only $2.50 for 18 holes, or $5 after 6. So I invited all my buds to come play mini golf with me, and then to go to the Broad Ripple Brewpub for food and beer and friend time.
BUT, now here's the best part, today was also "Seasonal Gardener Appreciation Day" at the zoo. That is to say, all our gardener bosses held a pitch-in for the seasonal help. We had masses and masses of food, and then--joy of joys!--we got to go over to the Marine Mammal building and have a personal encounter with the walruses and dolphins. I got to pet a goddam walrus today!! A WALRUS!!! It was amazing. They're very smart and darn cute to boot. The dolphin was cool as well, though more kind of nervous and shy. I'd always been told that touching a dolphin feels like touching a wet balloon, and I'd have to say that's true. But a >living< wet balloon, which is totally different from the ordinary kind. The walrus was kind of velvety and wet, and the whiskers (called vibrissae, I believe) are like really thick fishing line. It was just amazingly cool, and an excellent way to spend my birthday. Oh, and I got a twinkie with a candle in it from Kyle and Emily, and a personally drawn birthday card from Emily as well with a picture of me complaining about my advancing age.
Then after work it was the mini golf, which of course I did badly at--Andy W. and Francie tied in our foursome for the win, and i think Stephen trounced the other group but I never did hear the final scores there. Then at the Brewpub I had no less than 12 of my pals hanging out with me, and I can't imagine a better way to spend my time. So was it a good birthday? Abso-friggin-lutely.
Friday, July 04, 2003
President Bush Stole My Flag!
Here it is July 4, and I, a patriotic American, feel cheated out of my independence. In the last couple years--particularly since 9/11--the American flag has been usurped by the present administration as a symbol of support for our current "Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!" foreign policy. Here in Indiana (presumably elsewhere too) the flag is plastered over T-shirts, in car windows, and on bumper stickers proudly proclaiming "Don't Mess with the U.S.!" and other idiotic slogans. The greater global good philosophy of the 90's has been tossed out the window, and our flag has become a symbol of an isolationist, love-us-or-we'll-kick-your-ass approach to world politics. So if I, a thoughtful American for whom the flag repesents free speech, due process, and democracy, were to fly an American flag from my house today, it would be taken by passersby as a statement of support for an administration I didn't vote for. This, despite the fact that many recent actions taken by this administration demonstrate their total LACK of regard for free speech, due process, and even democracy (as seen from the very beginning, in Florida's ballot fiasco.) My flag's symbolism has been stolen from me, and Mr. Bush is the culprit.
Two political blog entries in a row. See what happens when I don't have anything else to write about? Right, well, I'm off to make some non-partisan, non-mayonnaise-based potato salad and enjoy the 90 degree Indiana summer afternoon at a pitch-in. Happy Independence Day, everybody!
Here it is July 4, and I, a patriotic American, feel cheated out of my independence. In the last couple years--particularly since 9/11--the American flag has been usurped by the present administration as a symbol of support for our current "Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!" foreign policy. Here in Indiana (presumably elsewhere too) the flag is plastered over T-shirts, in car windows, and on bumper stickers proudly proclaiming "Don't Mess with the U.S.!" and other idiotic slogans. The greater global good philosophy of the 90's has been tossed out the window, and our flag has become a symbol of an isolationist, love-us-or-we'll-kick-your-ass approach to world politics. So if I, a thoughtful American for whom the flag repesents free speech, due process, and democracy, were to fly an American flag from my house today, it would be taken by passersby as a statement of support for an administration I didn't vote for. This, despite the fact that many recent actions taken by this administration demonstrate their total LACK of regard for free speech, due process, and even democracy (as seen from the very beginning, in Florida's ballot fiasco.) My flag's symbolism has been stolen from me, and Mr. Bush is the culprit.
Two political blog entries in a row. See what happens when I don't have anything else to write about? Right, well, I'm off to make some non-partisan, non-mayonnaise-based potato salad and enjoy the 90 degree Indiana summer afternoon at a pitch-in. Happy Independence Day, everybody!
Thursday, June 26, 2003
I Love My Job....
So today at work, my special group project involved weeding virginia creeper out of the bald eagle enclosure. The enclosure consists of a lot of rocks, dirt, plants, and dead trees surrounded by plastic mesh; the eagle spent all of her time while I was in there sitting on a branch about 30 feet above my head and making irritated whistling sounds. I couldn't help noticing that the plants I was weeding out beneath her tree were spattered--nay, covered--with bald eagle poop. Now, I don't know about you, but I've never before had a job that offered me the opportunity to be crapped on by our national symbol. I had goosebumps just thinking about it! Sadly, though, she didn't let fly while I was in there. That might have been the one thing that could have trumped the penguin story....
When you think about it, though, being an American during the second Bush administration is kind of like getting crapped on by our national symbol. Isn't it?
So today at work, my special group project involved weeding virginia creeper out of the bald eagle enclosure. The enclosure consists of a lot of rocks, dirt, plants, and dead trees surrounded by plastic mesh; the eagle spent all of her time while I was in there sitting on a branch about 30 feet above my head and making irritated whistling sounds. I couldn't help noticing that the plants I was weeding out beneath her tree were spattered--nay, covered--with bald eagle poop. Now, I don't know about you, but I've never before had a job that offered me the opportunity to be crapped on by our national symbol. I had goosebumps just thinking about it! Sadly, though, she didn't let fly while I was in there. That might have been the one thing that could have trumped the penguin story....
When you think about it, though, being an American during the second Bush administration is kind of like getting crapped on by our national symbol. Isn't it?
Tuesday, June 17, 2003
Bitch, bitch, bitch.
The real problem with maintaining a blog mentality, for me, is that I'm usually only moved to write if I A) want to complain about something, or B) have something really funny to talk about. If I don't have something amusing or irritating to talk about, I dry up. So that's really what it's been this last month--it ain't that I'm dead, or even really that I'm busy. It's just that since I broke the hose coupler, nothing else particularly ludicrous has happened to me in recent weeks. And really, life's going along pretty well, so nothing to bitch about. Except, of course, that I have nothing to bitch about, and Jeremy's on my ass again about updating! Jerk. :]
Actually I did do something pretty imbecilic at work this weekend; I filled the lawnmower with 50:1 gas-oil mixture instead of straight gasoline. (For the un-lawn-equipment initiated, what this means is that basically the mower could blow up. Or something. Actually I have no idea, but it'd screw up the engine plenty good.) Fortunately I realized this before I started it up and got the bad fuel into the fuel line.... I'm not at liberty to say how Susan and I fixed the situation, except to mention that the EPA would not have approved of our methods. But no harm done, and I'm still not fired. Other zoo news: our baby elephant died, which sucked. My direct supervisor, though essentially a good guy at heart, has said enough dumbass things to me that I don't quite look forward to working with him as much as I might. (Dumbass examples will be supplied on request.) I still love the job though. And other life news: flooded with painting commissions, more than I can handle. May get to give a presentation at the American Assn of Museums conference next spring in New Orleans, on IUPUI's tab--most excellent. And I got friggin pooch-screwed playing Blood Bowl with Mac this evening! Jesus, could it have BEEN any worse?? Oops, sorry, wrong blog....
That's my life in a nutshell. How are all of you?
The real problem with maintaining a blog mentality, for me, is that I'm usually only moved to write if I A) want to complain about something, or B) have something really funny to talk about. If I don't have something amusing or irritating to talk about, I dry up. So that's really what it's been this last month--it ain't that I'm dead, or even really that I'm busy. It's just that since I broke the hose coupler, nothing else particularly ludicrous has happened to me in recent weeks. And really, life's going along pretty well, so nothing to bitch about. Except, of course, that I have nothing to bitch about, and Jeremy's on my ass again about updating! Jerk. :]
Actually I did do something pretty imbecilic at work this weekend; I filled the lawnmower with 50:1 gas-oil mixture instead of straight gasoline. (For the un-lawn-equipment initiated, what this means is that basically the mower could blow up. Or something. Actually I have no idea, but it'd screw up the engine plenty good.) Fortunately I realized this before I started it up and got the bad fuel into the fuel line.... I'm not at liberty to say how Susan and I fixed the situation, except to mention that the EPA would not have approved of our methods. But no harm done, and I'm still not fired. Other zoo news: our baby elephant died, which sucked. My direct supervisor, though essentially a good guy at heart, has said enough dumbass things to me that I don't quite look forward to working with him as much as I might. (Dumbass examples will be supplied on request.) I still love the job though. And other life news: flooded with painting commissions, more than I can handle. May get to give a presentation at the American Assn of Museums conference next spring in New Orleans, on IUPUI's tab--most excellent. And I got friggin pooch-screwed playing Blood Bowl with Mac this evening! Jesus, could it have BEEN any worse?? Oops, sorry, wrong blog....
That's my life in a nutshell. How are all of you?
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
What's a King Without a Crown?
It's been a fun couple of weeks. One of the high spots was me breaking a tooth--the second one in two years, as it happens. The first one broke while I was eating a jelly doughnut; my dentist kind of rounded off the tooth and filled it with epoxy, and everything was cool. Then last month, my yearly checkup revealed that my tooth is starting to flake away around the epoxy patch. So I got the splendid news that I really should get a crown ($700) on that tooth, before I get some serious decay and need a root canal. I don't have dental insurance. So then I'm mulling over this prospect, wondering if I can put it off til I get a "real" job that offers dental coverage--and boom, another tooth breaks! Jeez louise. My dentist confirms that this tooth, too, should really be crowned. $1400 in future dental costs! Now that's a pleasant prospect.
Other than that, though, things seem to be going well. My summer job at the zoo is excellent--where else can you take a work break to watch pit vipers get fed? Or galapagos tortoises engaged in amorous pursuits? I managed to go an entire week without doing anything totally klutzy.... Then yesterday I was left on my own to water some rosebushes by the park entrance, and was moved by the Doofus Spirit to give the long, heavy hose a firm tug when it was almost completely extended. Thought it would straighten it out to give me maximum watering potential. Instead, it caused the hose coupling to snap off its pvc pipe connection to the water main, causing a six foot jet of water to go shooting up in the air and causing me to go "Holy ****!" I naturally ran over and tried to block off the fountain with my hands, thinking the coupling had just come undone and I might be able to re-attach it. But nooooo. I broke it good. So now I was totally sopping wet from head to foot, facing an unstoppable gush of water that was rapidly flowing out across the entrance to the zoo like a miniature river. Had to go running to the administration building to ask security to radio my boss so she could turn off the water main... and every single person I passed had to say "Gee! Looks like you got wet!" Or, "Got a little wet, eh?" Or, "Hey! You're wet!" Gosh. Thanks. Anyway, problem got taken care of and I didn't get fired or killed or anything. They were warned, after all. They knew about the penguins.
It's been a fun couple of weeks. One of the high spots was me breaking a tooth--the second one in two years, as it happens. The first one broke while I was eating a jelly doughnut; my dentist kind of rounded off the tooth and filled it with epoxy, and everything was cool. Then last month, my yearly checkup revealed that my tooth is starting to flake away around the epoxy patch. So I got the splendid news that I really should get a crown ($700) on that tooth, before I get some serious decay and need a root canal. I don't have dental insurance. So then I'm mulling over this prospect, wondering if I can put it off til I get a "real" job that offers dental coverage--and boom, another tooth breaks! Jeez louise. My dentist confirms that this tooth, too, should really be crowned. $1400 in future dental costs! Now that's a pleasant prospect.
Other than that, though, things seem to be going well. My summer job at the zoo is excellent--where else can you take a work break to watch pit vipers get fed? Or galapagos tortoises engaged in amorous pursuits? I managed to go an entire week without doing anything totally klutzy.... Then yesterday I was left on my own to water some rosebushes by the park entrance, and was moved by the Doofus Spirit to give the long, heavy hose a firm tug when it was almost completely extended. Thought it would straighten it out to give me maximum watering potential. Instead, it caused the hose coupling to snap off its pvc pipe connection to the water main, causing a six foot jet of water to go shooting up in the air and causing me to go "Holy ****!" I naturally ran over and tried to block off the fountain with my hands, thinking the coupling had just come undone and I might be able to re-attach it. But nooooo. I broke it good. So now I was totally sopping wet from head to foot, facing an unstoppable gush of water that was rapidly flowing out across the entrance to the zoo like a miniature river. Had to go running to the administration building to ask security to radio my boss so she could turn off the water main... and every single person I passed had to say "Gee! Looks like you got wet!" Or, "Got a little wet, eh?" Or, "Hey! You're wet!" Gosh. Thanks. Anyway, problem got taken care of and I didn't get fired or killed or anything. They were warned, after all. They knew about the penguins.
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
If You're Gonna Dew It, Dew It Right...
AAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!! I am DONE, Ladies and Gentlemen, DONE with everything I was panicking about for the last two weeks. I have a take-home final and an in-class final at the beginning of next week and then school is OVER for the summer! Yes! Yes! Yes! Woo hoo!
I think I'm regressing. I drank more Mountain Dew in the past 6 days than I've had in, probably, years. Dew was my sustinance in college; I lived off of Dew, it was a friend through good times and bad, my companion through all-nighters and long car trips to Poughkeepsie... And then I abandoned it, when I went on a semi-newfangled health kick after college. I still drank, of course, but casually--socially. That's it, I became a social Dew drinker. Our relationship had changed. We grew distant. Now, though, we've gotten back together. Our tearful, joyous reunion nearly killed the 12 pack in the kitchen in the space of 3 days.... I swear to god, it's like being 20 again, only the caffiene hangovers are worse. Mmm...hair of the dog...mmm....
In another concession to whinyness, may I present a link to Li Rapkin, a most excellent friend and gamemaster of my Play-By-Email GURPS game, The Grand Ellipse. Li is also the one who celebrates the Chinese New Year with a showing of Big Trouble in Little China each February, kindly invited me to her Passover seder this year, and (even more kindly) did not poke fun at me for preferring the Mogen David to the real wines on the table. Voila la Li!
AAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!! I am DONE, Ladies and Gentlemen, DONE with everything I was panicking about for the last two weeks. I have a take-home final and an in-class final at the beginning of next week and then school is OVER for the summer! Yes! Yes! Yes! Woo hoo!
I think I'm regressing. I drank more Mountain Dew in the past 6 days than I've had in, probably, years. Dew was my sustinance in college; I lived off of Dew, it was a friend through good times and bad, my companion through all-nighters and long car trips to Poughkeepsie... And then I abandoned it, when I went on a semi-newfangled health kick after college. I still drank, of course, but casually--socially. That's it, I became a social Dew drinker. Our relationship had changed. We grew distant. Now, though, we've gotten back together. Our tearful, joyous reunion nearly killed the 12 pack in the kitchen in the space of 3 days.... I swear to god, it's like being 20 again, only the caffiene hangovers are worse. Mmm...hair of the dog...mmm....
In another concession to whinyness, may I present a link to Li Rapkin, a most excellent friend and gamemaster of my Play-By-Email GURPS game, The Grand Ellipse. Li is also the one who celebrates the Chinese New Year with a showing of Big Trouble in Little China each February, kindly invited me to her Passover seder this year, and (even more kindly) did not poke fun at me for preferring the Mogen David to the real wines on the table. Voila la Li!
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
Look out!
John "Big Whiner" Washburn points out, in a very pouty sort of a way, that I had omitted linking to his webpage on Cautionary Tale. As you will see, this was a grevious oversight--not just because I'm a bad friend, but because the very nature of John's site dovetails nicely with the theme of Caution in general...
Tonight I get to give a Powerpoint presentation in my Audiences class. That's if the A/V guys actually remember to supply the cable that makes it possible to hook a Macintosh up to the projector. I got about halfway through designing the presentation last night, and then thought, "You know, if the projector thing is screwed up, this is just going to have been a MASSIVE waste of valuable sleeping time." So instead of laboriously converting all my charts and graphs over from Appleworks to Excell to Powerpoint, I'm going to end the Powerpoint portion of the program halfway and go to pure reading, begging lack of skill with the MS software. I think I'll get away with it. The grading in this class has been ludicrously easy.
Patio's done! (almost.) Pictures are being uploaded and arranged.
John "Big Whiner" Washburn points out, in a very pouty sort of a way, that I had omitted linking to his webpage on Cautionary Tale. As you will see, this was a grevious oversight--not just because I'm a bad friend, but because the very nature of John's site dovetails nicely with the theme of Caution in general...
Tonight I get to give a Powerpoint presentation in my Audiences class. That's if the A/V guys actually remember to supply the cable that makes it possible to hook a Macintosh up to the projector. I got about halfway through designing the presentation last night, and then thought, "You know, if the projector thing is screwed up, this is just going to have been a MASSIVE waste of valuable sleeping time." So instead of laboriously converting all my charts and graphs over from Appleworks to Excell to Powerpoint, I'm going to end the Powerpoint portion of the program halfway and go to pure reading, begging lack of skill with the MS software. I think I'll get away with it. The grading in this class has been ludicrously easy.
Patio's done! (almost.) Pictures are being uploaded and arranged.
Sunday, April 13, 2003
DON'T PANIC
So said Ford Prefect. Alas, I'm having a hard time taking the motto to heart this week; the end of the semester looms nigh, and all I can do is stare helplessly at my two huge class projects and whimper. Well, whimper and watch television. And buy a new iBook. Yeah, that too.
It actually was a big weekend in the sense that I had two large accomplishments. One was buying the iBook, which made me very happy though slightly more panicky in a financial sense. The other was spending 6 hours today working on the new patio with my father, which gave me a sense of accomplishment but made me panicky in that I should have been working on my Anthropology project instead. But the good news is that the patio is more than half done, and no one got hurt. I did fall over once, but that could happen to anybody. Pictures of the patio project will soon be visible on my website, I'll slap a link up here when they are since I suspect it'll make an entertaining jpeg-flipbook when we're done.
Good movie last night. "Bend It Like Beckham." Came out last year, has just toiled its way to Indianapolis. See it. I guarantee enjoyment.
So said Ford Prefect. Alas, I'm having a hard time taking the motto to heart this week; the end of the semester looms nigh, and all I can do is stare helplessly at my two huge class projects and whimper. Well, whimper and watch television. And buy a new iBook. Yeah, that too.
It actually was a big weekend in the sense that I had two large accomplishments. One was buying the iBook, which made me very happy though slightly more panicky in a financial sense. The other was spending 6 hours today working on the new patio with my father, which gave me a sense of accomplishment but made me panicky in that I should have been working on my Anthropology project instead. But the good news is that the patio is more than half done, and no one got hurt. I did fall over once, but that could happen to anybody. Pictures of the patio project will soon be visible on my website, I'll slap a link up here when they are since I suspect it'll make an entertaining jpeg-flipbook when we're done.
Good movie last night. "Bend It Like Beckham." Came out last year, has just toiled its way to Indianapolis. See it. I guarantee enjoyment.
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Change is good....?
Well, updating is, at least. Note that my links have been expanded, updated, polished and cleaned! Several links to other friends have been added, in some cases without their permission as I'm far too lazy to email them and ask. Karen? Bryan? Do you care? If so, say and the links are zapped.
Speaking of other nerdy friends, Jane has just begun a blog dedicated to the ins and outs of her present EQ game! This is reachable through a link on her page; I'd link directly to it here, but I can't remember the url off the top of my head. It's linked from her main blog, if you're also an EQ nerd take a look. But the upshot is that she has inspired me to unveil my own gaming blog that I started over a month ago and hadn't been publicising due to it being really ugly and strangely formatted. I still can't seem to manipulate the code to make it better, and what I really should do is get my own url and write it myself with my limited skillz as a web page author. But in the meantime! If you play in one of my games, or are interested in RPGS and board games, and want to see my occasional ramblings on the subject, check it out! It's called Dark's Carnival, after a board location in Chaosium's classic "Arkham Horror" board game. That is all, you may return to your posts....
Well, updating is, at least. Note that my links have been expanded, updated, polished and cleaned! Several links to other friends have been added, in some cases without their permission as I'm far too lazy to email them and ask. Karen? Bryan? Do you care? If so, say and the links are zapped.
Speaking of other nerdy friends, Jane has just begun a blog dedicated to the ins and outs of her present EQ game! This is reachable through a link on her page; I'd link directly to it here, but I can't remember the url off the top of my head. It's linked from her main blog, if you're also an EQ nerd take a look. But the upshot is that she has inspired me to unveil my own gaming blog that I started over a month ago and hadn't been publicising due to it being really ugly and strangely formatted. I still can't seem to manipulate the code to make it better, and what I really should do is get my own url and write it myself with my limited skillz as a web page author. But in the meantime! If you play in one of my games, or are interested in RPGS and board games, and want to see my occasional ramblings on the subject, check it out! It's called Dark's Carnival, after a board location in Chaosium's classic "Arkham Horror" board game. That is all, you may return to your posts....
Monday, March 31, 2003
You know it's a bad day when....
Today I went to the Summit Occupational Health Clinic for my first work-related drug test ever. Yes, the zoo requires it. (What do they think people are going to do, get high and fall into the penguin pool? Oh, wait...) So I went, even before breakfast, figuring that since I hadn't gone (in the wc sense) since 11 last night I'd probably be able to supply the necessary sample. But no. Nooooo. My tendency to tense up in public restrooms, which has been pretty well mastered in the last 10 years or so, returned with a vengance. I wasn't helped by the fact that the nurse informed me, "If you can't go, then you have to wait another hour and try again. No, you can't leave and come back tomorrow." If that's not a threat, I don't know what is. So I chugged a Mountain Dew, walked around, and tried to go. No go. An hour later, I was doubled over in bladder-screaming agony in the waiting room, begging them to call me back in. They finally did. I couldn't go. I mean, I was in actual physical pain, and yet the tiny muscles down there were somehow saying, "Now is not the time!" Holy crap. Finally, by methods which I won't elaborate in this forum of good taste, I was able to fill the cup. It was awful. I never want to do this again. (Have a drug test, that is, not urination in general.)
And Charles was kind enough to point out that IUPUI was the 16th seed in the NCAA tourney, not the 14th. Thanks Chuck. :] But we lost, and IU lost, and Purdue lost, and Butler finally lost. So that's that! On to more important things, like the NBA Championships!
Today I went to the Summit Occupational Health Clinic for my first work-related drug test ever. Yes, the zoo requires it. (What do they think people are going to do, get high and fall into the penguin pool? Oh, wait...) So I went, even before breakfast, figuring that since I hadn't gone (in the wc sense) since 11 last night I'd probably be able to supply the necessary sample. But no. Nooooo. My tendency to tense up in public restrooms, which has been pretty well mastered in the last 10 years or so, returned with a vengance. I wasn't helped by the fact that the nurse informed me, "If you can't go, then you have to wait another hour and try again. No, you can't leave and come back tomorrow." If that's not a threat, I don't know what is. So I chugged a Mountain Dew, walked around, and tried to go. No go. An hour later, I was doubled over in bladder-screaming agony in the waiting room, begging them to call me back in. They finally did. I couldn't go. I mean, I was in actual physical pain, and yet the tiny muscles down there were somehow saying, "Now is not the time!" Holy crap. Finally, by methods which I won't elaborate in this forum of good taste, I was able to fill the cup. It was awful. I never want to do this again. (Have a drug test, that is, not urination in general.)
And Charles was kind enough to point out that IUPUI was the 16th seed in the NCAA tourney, not the 14th. Thanks Chuck. :] But we lost, and IU lost, and Purdue lost, and Butler finally lost. So that's that! On to more important things, like the NBA Championships!
Friday, March 21, 2003
Hoop Dream?
I don't know how many of you (all 6 of you) are basketball fans; my guess is none. However, I feel the need to inform you that something miraculous is happening today. My current school, IUPUI, is playing in the first round of the men's NCAA basketball tournament today. This is unheard of--to the best of my knowledge, IUPUI has never experienced anything like this before. This is a school where the average student age is about 26, where most students are commuters--essentially, there ain't no Michael-Jordan-style scholarships luring players to IUPUI. In fact, IUPUI drawing its student base almost exclusively from the Indianapolis area, they're in an even worse situation in that every local high school basketball prodigy goes to either I.U. or Purdue; that's the problem with a state so obsessed with one sport as Indiana is with basketball. But here's IUPUI, playing in the first round today, ranked 14th in the Midwest division--and they're playing #1 ranked Kentucky. My prediction is that UK will wad up IUPUI like a used kleenex in the first 5 minutes and then dunk them repeatedly into the trash can. BUT... I still feel a sort of tiny sense of pride about IUPUI's presence there at all. Go, Jaguars, go.
I don't know how many of you (all 6 of you) are basketball fans; my guess is none. However, I feel the need to inform you that something miraculous is happening today. My current school, IUPUI, is playing in the first round of the men's NCAA basketball tournament today. This is unheard of--to the best of my knowledge, IUPUI has never experienced anything like this before. This is a school where the average student age is about 26, where most students are commuters--essentially, there ain't no Michael-Jordan-style scholarships luring players to IUPUI. In fact, IUPUI drawing its student base almost exclusively from the Indianapolis area, they're in an even worse situation in that every local high school basketball prodigy goes to either I.U. or Purdue; that's the problem with a state so obsessed with one sport as Indiana is with basketball. But here's IUPUI, playing in the first round today, ranked 14th in the Midwest division--and they're playing #1 ranked Kentucky. My prediction is that UK will wad up IUPUI like a used kleenex in the first 5 minutes and then dunk them repeatedly into the trash can. BUT... I still feel a sort of tiny sense of pride about IUPUI's presence there at all. Go, Jaguars, go.
Sunday, March 16, 2003
Well, at least I come by it honestly...
My dad’s in Costa Rica right now. As many of you know, I maintain that the secret to my parents’ long marriage is that they frequently take seperate vacations. Well, that and two full sets of covers on the bed. Anyway, so dad is happily paddling around in the rainforest (I hope) and my mom is eating shrimp and cocktail sauce for dinner every night. We call this “eating single week.” I went over there for dinner tonight, as I do most Sundays--no shrimp, she hoards that, instead it was irish stew and bright green biscuits--and we had a pleasant conversation about a number of family-related topics. The reason I’m bringing this up is for those of my friends who believe that I am somehow responsible for all the ludicrous personal accidents that occur in my life--in point of fact, it’s genetic. I was telling her about chopping up some massive dead branches in my yard with the big axe Dad unwisely purchased for me last summer, and from there we segued to a fond discussion of my 88 year old grandpa, who once managed to hit himself in the head with an axe. Since he’s now 88 and one of the sharpest people I know, it apparently didn’t affect him much. I’d heard about this accident before; but mom added a new dimension to the whole genetics theory by telling me about the time (c.1950) Grandpa tried out the neighbor’s new power mower. Being unable to turn it off when he was done, he decided that instead of walking it to the sidewalk and up the neighbor’s driveway, he’d just lift it over the hedge that separated the two yards. Yes. Lifted. A running power mower. Over a hedge. Of course, it only made it halfway over the hedge before his grip slipped, and the mower fell on his leg and carved a large chunk out of his thigh.
Lest you think that this gene skips generations, may I point out that my mother once bludgeoned herself in the head with a phone receiver by accident and had to get 20 stitches.
It’s not my fault, I tell you!
My dad’s in Costa Rica right now. As many of you know, I maintain that the secret to my parents’ long marriage is that they frequently take seperate vacations. Well, that and two full sets of covers on the bed. Anyway, so dad is happily paddling around in the rainforest (I hope) and my mom is eating shrimp and cocktail sauce for dinner every night. We call this “eating single week.” I went over there for dinner tonight, as I do most Sundays--no shrimp, she hoards that, instead it was irish stew and bright green biscuits--and we had a pleasant conversation about a number of family-related topics. The reason I’m bringing this up is for those of my friends who believe that I am somehow responsible for all the ludicrous personal accidents that occur in my life--in point of fact, it’s genetic. I was telling her about chopping up some massive dead branches in my yard with the big axe Dad unwisely purchased for me last summer, and from there we segued to a fond discussion of my 88 year old grandpa, who once managed to hit himself in the head with an axe. Since he’s now 88 and one of the sharpest people I know, it apparently didn’t affect him much. I’d heard about this accident before; but mom added a new dimension to the whole genetics theory by telling me about the time (c.1950) Grandpa tried out the neighbor’s new power mower. Being unable to turn it off when he was done, he decided that instead of walking it to the sidewalk and up the neighbor’s driveway, he’d just lift it over the hedge that separated the two yards. Yes. Lifted. A running power mower. Over a hedge. Of course, it only made it halfway over the hedge before his grip slipped, and the mower fell on his leg and carved a large chunk out of his thigh.
Lest you think that this gene skips generations, may I point out that my mother once bludgeoned herself in the head with a phone receiver by accident and had to get 20 stitches.
It’s not my fault, I tell you!
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