What's a King Without a Crown?

It's been a fun couple of weeks. One of the high spots was me breaking a tooth--the second one in two years, as it happens. The first one broke while I was eating a jelly doughnut; my dentist kind of rounded off the tooth and filled it with epoxy, and everything was cool. Then last month, my yearly checkup revealed that my tooth is starting to flake away around the epoxy patch. So I got the splendid news that I really should get a crown ($700) on that tooth, before I get some serious decay and need a root canal. I don't have dental insurance. So then I'm mulling over this prospect, wondering if I can put it off til I get a "real" job that offers dental coverage--and boom, another tooth breaks! Jeez louise. My dentist confirms that this tooth, too, should really be crowned. $1400 in future dental costs! Now that's a pleasant prospect.

Other than that, though, things seem to be going well. My summer job at the zoo is excellent--where else can you take a work break to watch pit vipers get fed? Or galapagos tortoises engaged in amorous pursuits? I managed to go an entire week without doing anything totally klutzy.... Then yesterday I was left on my own to water some rosebushes by the park entrance, and was moved by the Doofus Spirit to give the long, heavy hose a firm tug when it was almost completely extended. Thought it would straighten it out to give me maximum watering potential. Instead, it caused the hose coupling to snap off its pvc pipe connection to the water main, causing a six foot jet of water to go shooting up in the air and causing me to go "Holy ****!" I naturally ran over and tried to block off the fountain with my hands, thinking the coupling had just come undone and I might be able to re-attach it. But nooooo. I broke it good. So now I was totally sopping wet from head to foot, facing an unstoppable gush of water that was rapidly flowing out across the entrance to the zoo like a miniature river. Had to go running to the administration building to ask security to radio my boss so she could turn off the water main... and every single person I passed had to say "Gee! Looks like you got wet!" Or, "Got a little wet, eh?" Or, "Hey! You're wet!" Gosh. Thanks. Anyway, problem got taken care of and I didn't get fired or killed or anything. They were warned, after all. They knew about the penguins.

If You're Gonna Dew It, Dew It Right...

AAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!! I am DONE, Ladies and Gentlemen, DONE with everything I was panicking about for the last two weeks. I have a take-home final and an in-class final at the beginning of next week and then school is OVER for the summer! Yes! Yes! Yes! Woo hoo!

I think I'm regressing. I drank more Mountain Dew in the past 6 days than I've had in, probably, years. Dew was my sustinance in college; I lived off of Dew, it was a friend through good times and bad, my companion through all-nighters and long car trips to Poughkeepsie... And then I abandoned it, when I went on a semi-newfangled health kick after college. I still drank, of course, but casually--socially. That's it, I became a social Dew drinker. Our relationship had changed. We grew distant. Now, though, we've gotten back together. Our tearful, joyous reunion nearly killed the 12 pack in the kitchen in the space of 3 days.... I swear to god, it's like being 20 again, only the caffiene hangovers are worse. Mmm...hair of the dog...mmm....

In another concession to whinyness, may I present a link to Li Rapkin, a most excellent friend and gamemaster of my Play-By-Email GURPS game, The Grand Ellipse. Li is also the one who celebrates the Chinese New Year with a showing of Big Trouble in Little China each February, kindly invited me to her Passover seder this year, and (even more kindly) did not poke fun at me for preferring the Mogen David to the real wines on the table. Voila la Li!

Look out!

John "Big Whiner" Washburn points out, in a very pouty sort of a way, that I had omitted linking to his webpage on Cautionary Tale. As you will see, this was a grevious oversight--not just because I'm a bad friend, but because the very nature of John's site dovetails nicely with the theme of Caution in general...

Tonight I get to give a Powerpoint presentation in my Audiences class. That's if the A/V guys actually remember to supply the cable that makes it possible to hook a Macintosh up to the projector. I got about halfway through designing the presentation last night, and then thought, "You know, if the projector thing is screwed up, this is just going to have been a MASSIVE waste of valuable sleeping time." So instead of laboriously converting all my charts and graphs over from Appleworks to Excell to Powerpoint, I'm going to end the Powerpoint portion of the program halfway and go to pure reading, begging lack of skill with the MS software. I think I'll get away with it. The grading in this class has been ludicrously easy.

Patio's done! (almost.) Pictures are being uploaded and arranged.

DON'T PANIC

So said Ford Prefect. Alas, I'm having a hard time taking the motto to heart this week; the end of the semester looms nigh, and all I can do is stare helplessly at my two huge class projects and whimper. Well, whimper and watch television. And buy a new iBook. Yeah, that too.

It actually was a big weekend in the sense that I had two large accomplishments. One was buying the iBook, which made me very happy though slightly more panicky in a financial sense. The other was spending 6 hours today working on the new patio with my father, which gave me a sense of accomplishment but made me panicky in that I should have been working on my Anthropology project instead. But the good news is that the patio is more than half done, and no one got hurt. I did fall over once, but that could happen to anybody. Pictures of the patio project will soon be visible on my website, I'll slap a link up here when they are since I suspect it'll make an entertaining jpeg-flipbook when we're done.

Good movie last night. "Bend It Like Beckham." Came out last year, has just toiled its way to Indianapolis. See it. I guarantee enjoyment.

Change is good....?

Well, updating is, at least. Note that my links have been expanded, updated, polished and cleaned! Several links to other friends have been added, in some cases without their permission as I'm far too lazy to email them and ask. Karen? Bryan? Do you care? If so, say and the links are zapped.

Speaking of other nerdy friends, Jane has just begun a blog dedicated to the ins and outs of her present EQ game! This is reachable through a link on her page; I'd link directly to it here, but I can't remember the url off the top of my head. It's linked from her main blog, if you're also an EQ nerd take a look. But the upshot is that she has inspired me to unveil my own gaming blog that I started over a month ago and hadn't been publicising due to it being really ugly and strangely formatted. I still can't seem to manipulate the code to make it better, and what I really should do is get my own url and write it myself with my limited skillz as a web page author. But in the meantime! If you play in one of my games, or are interested in RPGS and board games, and want to see my occasional ramblings on the subject, check it out! It's called Dark's Carnival, after a board location in Chaosium's classic "Arkham Horror" board game. That is all, you may return to your posts....

You know it's a bad day when....

Today I went to the Summit Occupational Health Clinic for my first work-related drug test ever. Yes, the zoo requires it. (What do they think people are going to do, get high and fall into the penguin pool? Oh, wait...) So I went, even before breakfast, figuring that since I hadn't gone (in the wc sense) since 11 last night I'd probably be able to supply the necessary sample. But no. Nooooo. My tendency to tense up in public restrooms, which has been pretty well mastered in the last 10 years or so, returned with a vengance. I wasn't helped by the fact that the nurse informed me, "If you can't go, then you have to wait another hour and try again. No, you can't leave and come back tomorrow." If that's not a threat, I don't know what is. So I chugged a Mountain Dew, walked around, and tried to go. No go. An hour later, I was doubled over in bladder-screaming agony in the waiting room, begging them to call me back in. They finally did. I couldn't go. I mean, I was in actual physical pain, and yet the tiny muscles down there were somehow saying, "Now is not the time!" Holy crap. Finally, by methods which I won't elaborate in this forum of good taste, I was able to fill the cup. It was awful. I never want to do this again. (Have a drug test, that is, not urination in general.)

And Charles was kind enough to point out that IUPUI was the 16th seed in the NCAA tourney, not the 14th. Thanks Chuck. :] But we lost, and IU lost, and Purdue lost, and Butler finally lost. So that's that! On to more important things, like the NBA Championships!

Hoop Dream?

I don't know how many of you (all 6 of you) are basketball fans; my guess is none. However, I feel the need to inform you that something miraculous is happening today. My current school, IUPUI, is playing in the first round of the men's NCAA basketball tournament today. This is unheard of--to the best of my knowledge, IUPUI has never experienced anything like this before. This is a school where the average student age is about 26, where most students are commuters--essentially, there ain't no Michael-Jordan-style scholarships luring players to IUPUI. In fact, IUPUI drawing its student base almost exclusively from the Indianapolis area, they're in an even worse situation in that every local high school basketball prodigy goes to either I.U. or Purdue; that's the problem with a state so obsessed with one sport as Indiana is with basketball. But here's IUPUI, playing in the first round today, ranked 14th in the Midwest division--and they're playing #1 ranked Kentucky. My prediction is that UK will wad up IUPUI like a used kleenex in the first 5 minutes and then dunk them repeatedly into the trash can. BUT... I still feel a sort of tiny sense of pride about IUPUI's presence there at all. Go, Jaguars, go.

Well, at least I come by it honestly...

My dad’s in Costa Rica right now. As many of you know, I maintain that the secret to my parents’ long marriage is that they frequently take seperate vacations. Well, that and two full sets of covers on the bed. Anyway, so dad is happily paddling around in the rainforest (I hope) and my mom is eating shrimp and cocktail sauce for dinner every night. We call this “eating single week.” I went over there for dinner tonight, as I do most Sundays--no shrimp, she hoards that, instead it was irish stew and bright green biscuits--and we had a pleasant conversation about a number of family-related topics. The reason I’m bringing this up is for those of my friends who believe that I am somehow responsible for all the ludicrous personal accidents that occur in my life--in point of fact, it’s genetic. I was telling her about chopping up some massive dead branches in my yard with the big axe Dad unwisely purchased for me last summer, and from there we segued to a fond discussion of my 88 year old grandpa, who once managed to hit himself in the head with an axe. Since he’s now 88 and one of the sharpest people I know, it apparently didn’t affect him much. I’d heard about this accident before; but mom added a new dimension to the whole genetics theory by telling me about the time (c.1950) Grandpa tried out the neighbor’s new power mower. Being unable to turn it off when he was done, he decided that instead of walking it to the sidewalk and up the neighbor’s driveway, he’d just lift it over the hedge that separated the two yards. Yes. Lifted. A running power mower. Over a hedge. Of course, it only made it halfway over the hedge before his grip slipped, and the mower fell on his leg and carved a large chunk out of his thigh.

Lest you think that this gene skips generations, may I point out that my mother once bludgeoned herself in the head with a phone receiver by accident and had to get 20 stitches.

It’s not my fault, I tell you!

Spring? Sproing!

Yep, it's finally getting warmer here, in little bitty increments. Yesterday it was 20 degrees out. Today it's near 50. Last Saturday we hit 60, to be promptly followed by 35 Sunday. I swear I wouldn't live anywhere else, each one of these warm days is like a shiny jewel during March. I'm turning my back porch into a greenhouse for seed starting (no promises on success, but I have my hopes) and the compost bin I ordered through the mail just showed up last week. 100% recycled plastic, from a distance it looks like wood and up close it looks like melted-down car tire slag. Which is probably what it is, of course.

School proceeds apace, it's a good thing that Spring Break is next week because I've gotten awfully apathetic about finishing my reading for each class. I thought about trying to find someplace I could roadtrip to, just to make it seem more like a real "Spring Break"--after all, it'll probably be the last one I ever have. Barring disaster I should be finished with the Museum Studies certificate by next January. Anyway, so I gave it some thought and realized 1) I don't have any money, 2) there's no place I really feel like going that I can get to quickly, and 3) I should spend the break painting miniatures. Suddenly I have a surfeit of painting jobs, there's a nice man in New York city who seems perfectly willing to have me do a huge quantity of stuff for him and wants to pay in advance. So really, I ought to get cracking on that. I'm full of fear, got an email today from a guy who wants me to do a bunch of Spanish Succession Wars 6mm figures--6mm scale figures being approx the height of your little fingernail. That's smaller than I've ever done, no idea what to charge or how much of a pain in the ass it will be. Bah. As Bert would say.

Projecting Emotions...

In History, you write papers. In Museum Studies, you do "projects." I have several projects due this semester which promise to be fairly entertaining. One involves following little kids around at the Indiana Historical Society and timing how long they spend looking at different parts of an exhibit, whether they're interacting with items in the way they were intended, etc. (IE, are they picking up the interactive elements of the exhibit and whacking their classmates in the head?) The one which will be more potentially amusing for all of you out there in TV Land is a web page for my Modern Material Culture class. The premise is still gelling in my head, but the overall theme will be "collections" on the internet. To get an idea of what this means, try typing "My collection" into any search engine and see what demented people not only collect, but have taken the time and trouble to display on a web page. So far my favorite is the Air Sickness Bag Collector's website. (to be linked later.)

Last week, the Zoo had me feed the sharks. I think they're trying to get rid of me....

Well, at least I got lei'd....Sort of...

This is my first Valentine's Day in several years without even a hint of romance on the wind. I actually wasn't too worried about this--frankly, after yesterday's adventure I was glad to have a day of just goofing around the house, listening to NPR, painting, and watching TV. No chances of a tragic accident, right? (Well yes, ok, 90% of my tragic accidents do happen in the home. But Wednesday my car got towed, Thursday...well, no need to go over that again. But I figured these things happen in threes, and it'd be better if I was within easy reach of the first aid kit.) But adventure and romance found me, in the form of a coconut. From Hawaii. Via Fed-Ex. Courtesy of Becky, Jeremy, and Alex, all of whom got to go to Hawaii this week for various reasons--and if they hadn't sent me a coconut I'd be roundly cursing them for getting to go to Hawaii. (Especially Becky, who's there for an academic conference. Where are MY academic conferences? Muncie, IN. Kalamazoo, MI. But psychologists? Hawaii. Damn scientists.) The coconut bears a friendly greeting from Alex which is nearly illegible, a rude comment from Jeremy on the illegibility of Alex's writing, and from Becky, a great drawing of three stick persons wearing colorful dog collars, with an arrow reading "Supposed to be people with leis!" Lastly, the cryptic message "TIKI! TIKI! TIKI!" (Sure Jer. Rub it in further....) All of this is in vari-colored magic marker on the outside of a large, sloshy-sounding coconut. Naturally I was deeply touched by this fantastic gift! And its arrival could not have been timed better. Here it's freezing rain, several inches of snow and ice predicted--and yet I sit, holding a Hawaiian coconut, dreaming of volcanic beaches, fragrant breezes, lava, and poi. And wondering how the hell I'm going to open this thing without injuring myself.

Jane Said It Best....

Today, I fell into the penguin enclosure at the Zoo.

Jane's comment? "The only thing that would make that better is....no, it can't get any better." True. If I had tried to imagine the one thing that I might do on my first day volunteering at the Indianapolis Zoo, the single most ludicrously hilarious accident I might possibly have on the job, I still would not have come up with this on my own. Bitten by something, sure. Accidentally releasing a dangerous animal into a public space, possibly. But actually FALLING off of the fake ice floe in the penguin exhibit and landing in the 40 degree water, mullet flying and penguins scattering for safety.... Wow. I've reached a new zenith of klutz.

Before you ask--no, no pictures will be available for sale. No film at 11. Move along, please, nothing to see here.

Say It: Ooo-Eee-Poo-Eee!

All right, enough with the serious posting. Back to my real life. Some have asked, innocently enough, “How’s school going?” Short answer is, fine thanks. But really, being back in school yet again is, as always, a little overwhelming.

In case you’d forgotten, I’m enrolled in the Museum Studies Graduate Certification program at IUPUI (for pronounciation, see above.) That stands for “Indiana University-Purdue University at Indianapolis,” whose motto, “Why Not Both?” should actually read, “Why Not Neither?” As far as I can tell, IUPUI’s connection with Purdue is strictly nominal; they have no involvement in the administration or curriculum, and their library is unavailable to us. How does this affect me? Not even slightly, other than the fact I’d hoped there’d be Purdue University car window stickers in the bookstore. (It’s the height of wit here in central Indiana to cut and re-paste PU window stickers to read “Undue Purversity.” ) IU, on the other hand, is tantalizingly peripherally involved with IUPUI. We can drive down there for classes, and their library catalog is online at IUPUI--but don’t try requesting books from them, because IUPUI treats it like any other inter-library loan and orders the books for you from the Tahiti Public Library instead. Our parking permits don’t work there (I don’t think) and their academic calendar is apparently completely different. I thought about commuting down there to a class this semester, but on reflection decided it would be far too confusing for me to remember when two different spring breaks were, in addition to the driving time.

So IUPUI is an urban campus, right in the heart of downtown Indy, and it boasts 35,000 commuter students. Yes, 35,000. This boggles my little private-school trained mind.... I had not even begun to contemplate what that meant until I got down there for my first class at 5:30 on a Monday and tried to find a parking space amid the sea of students leaving afternoon classes and arriving for evening classes. Not a pretty sight. I was late for “Modern Material Culture,” and if I’d known how much Elvis, Barbie, and Farrah Fawcett he was going to cram into that class period I’d not have wanted to miss a single moment.... but more on that some other time.

“Ren? What’s the Big Sleep?”
“It’s Death! Death, you eeediot!!”

Actually not such a funny subject for me at the moment, Ren and Stimpy aside. My great-aunt Audrey died this week, after a long and painful illness. While I’ve been expecting to get that phone call at any time in the past year or so, when it finally came it was still a cold shock. I’d had plenty of time to get used to the idea; presumably, so had she, although she kept a pretty upbeat and positive attitude about the whole thing right up to the end.

For some time now, I’ve been of the opinion that it’d be better to go slow than to go fast. A long illness, while sad and painful, gives one the opportunity to sort things out, mend one’s grievances, say one’s goodbyes. (Not that Audrey could have had many grievances, mind you--she was even nice to my grandmother, which would have been a considerable trial for Mother Theresa.) Now, though, I dunno. When Steve died--three years ago, now--it was, to say the least, horrible. I’d had dinner with him the night before, we’d talked about work and ordinary stuff....our usual discussion of his marital difficulties, his anxiety and depression, but also the fact that things were looking up for him. He was looking forward to a bike race through town the next day. Only he was killed during the race by a freak accident. And while it was nearly two weeks before they took him off life support, it was pretty apparent that Steve was dead from the moment his head hit the concrete.... So I thought at the time, awful. Good that he didn’t know what hit him, but awful that there was no chance to say goodbye, to tell him I was sorry about stuff, to tell him how much I liked him. Audrey knew how much she was loved by all of us; we called and sent cards, her family pulled around her, her church stood by her. My 88 year old grandpa (her older brother) drove to see her at the hospital nearly every day of her many stays there in the last 2 years. And yet, when all’s said and done, death is death. This is the fifth in six years. I’m tired of going to funerals, Ren.

Arr, Maytey! Heave to!

So you all know I’m not exactly a techno-wizard. One of my reasons for continuing to be a rabid Macintosh loyalist is that I feel Macintoshes were made for people like me--people whose grasp of their computer’s inner workings are tenuous at best. So it’s not surprising that it’s taken me several years to jump on the MP3 bandwagon. But now, thanks to the efforts of my younger, tech-savvy friends, I’m all over that bad boy. Part of the problem has been that a lot of the Napster alternatives out there, such as Kazaa, are not mac-friendly (so I say, the hell with those losers! Nyeh!) But I’ve found a nice little program called Limewire, which is written in javascript and thus useable by even me. Limewire runs off a network called “Gnutella,” which I’m presuming is just like Nutella, but made of mashed up gnus instead of hazelnuts, and with more file-sharing capability. Since I installed Limewire I’ve been sailing the high seas of music piracy, sinking ships and taking their booty of Blue Oyster Cult and AC/DC, at the amazing speeds that my 56K modem makes possible. I have this sort of vision where if a T1 line were a little fast sloop, and a cable modem would be more like a barque, then my dial-up connection is kind of like a ponderous frigate with most of its cannons gone. (This image works better if you, like me, spent hours of valuable time playing Microprose’s “Pirates! Gold” in the mid-90’s.)

Anyway, so if you’re looking for a file-sharing program/network, I recommend Limewire and Gnutella, so far I’m pretty happy with ‘em.

The Wonderful World of Disney

At last, I’m back on after a lengthy hiatus. I came down with a horrible head cold two weeks ago; by New Year’s I was an utter mess. I resembled nothing so much as a 5’8” shambling mound of used Kleenexes. I’d like to appologise right now to anyone who I may have infected by my very presence at Mara and David’s New Year’s party.... God. Then January 2 I left for Florida with my parents, as the cold moved down into my chest and left me unable to walk at speeds above “turtle” without gasping for air and requiring a rest. This continued for 3 of the 4 days we spent at Disneyworld and elsewhere... so not the most relaxing vacation of my life.

This is not to say I didn’t have a good time. My parents are wonderful to spring for me to go to Disneyworld with them; even more wonderful were gourmet meals (Mom and Dad are firm believers in quality food experiences) and tickets to Cirque du Soleil. A lengthy bout of bronchitis is a small price to pay, right? In the spirit of my Two Towers review, I’ll just hit a few highs and lows for the ol’ memory book:
THUMBS UP:
I. Going on rides with my mom. It was she who insisted we go back to MGM first thing in the morning on the day we left to make sure we got to go on the Aerosmith G-Force rollercoaster. A few years ago she got me to go on the Tower of Terror, which lived up to its name in being the most petrifying physical experience of my life (including ones where I was actually in real danger.) For the record, my favorite is still the Thunder Mountain Railroad, followed by Splash Moutain, then Aerosmith, then Space Mountain. We didn’t do the Formula 1 track thing at Epcot, it looked boring.
II. Cirque. My god. Wow. I can’t even begin to describe it.
III. Oranges from the tree in my great-aunt Virginia’s yard. I’m usually not an orange fan, I had no idea they could be that good when they’re fresh. I still haven’t eaten the grapefruit....
THUMBS DOWN:
I. 38 degree mornings in Orlando? I never even got to put on my shorts. Yeesh.
II. Dad losing his keys in the Indy airport and refusing to even ASK the nice people at the security check-through if perhaps he might have dropped them there. He was ready to come back from Florida, pay for a taxi home to get the spare keys, and another taxi back to the airport to get the car, rather than spend 5 minutes investigating the disappearance of the keys. After fuming at the gate for a while, I went back to the metal detectors, asked the guard, found the keys. Dad gave me $40 spending money to not keep mentioning this incident over the course of the weekend.
III. Dad being in a cranky mood for the last two days of the trip, due to our visit to his Uncle Don and Aunt Virginia Saturday. Complicated situation, and sad; but I thought it was a nice visit despite wishing the two of them could sort out their differences. Being sorry that folks sometimes make bad decisions about their lives doesn’t keep me from being happy to see the fruit bats at the Animal Kingdom.

Argh! I forgot to add Fruit Bats to the first list!

Speaking of the Unspeakable....

Christmas brought us the first good snowfall of the year--about 4 inches of soft, packable, beautiful white fluffiness. I was naturally thrilled, and felt a need to celebrate the snow's arrival. How to let the Snow Gods know of my gratitude for their beneficence? Build them a statue, of course. Not one of those namby-pamby frosty-style snowmen, but one more fitting the wild and capricious nature of snow gods.....

SNOWTHULHU!!!!

The dark god himself, held in place by a trampled elder sign in the surrounding snow. You know, sometimes I even scare myself.

TWO TOWERS
First off, I should say that the most gratifying moment of the evening for me was before the movie started. There, at a Game Preserve-sponsored event, attended by the very woman who fired me, my former co-workers Jason and Jay proposed to start chanting “RE-HIRE CATHY! RE-HIRE CATHY!” and see how many people in the audience took it up. It was a sweet gesture, though of course it would have resulted in death for everyone involved....

Right, so I saw the midnight showing, 12:01 Wednesday, at the AMC in Greenwood, with about 300 Game Preserve employees, customers, and friends. No costumes, just a solid crowd of fantasy geekdom from wall to wall. That, in itself, is worth the price of admission. (Which was of course $0, since I had the coupon out of the extended DVD version. But still.) Last year at this time, I was totally jazzed--Fellowship was everything I wanted it to be, and then some! I didn’t miss anything that was cut, I didn’t mind the tiny alterations of plot because I felt they contributed to the movie trilogy as a whole.... It was beautiful, it was fun, it rocked. The Two Towers is very different. Even now, I am certain Tolkien geeks everywhere are spewing bile into their blogs complaining about this movie. I’d hate to be that negative, or take it that seriously, so I’m going to go through and rap about the stuff I loved, and then some of the stuff I didn’t love, and you can feel free to email me and tell me what you think of my thinking.

STUFF THAT WAS COOL....

I. The Ents. Wow. Cool. Super. Fabulous. They looked just as I always imagined them, and then some. The film did well in conveying the slow deliberate nature of Ents. John Rhys-Davies voices Treebeard, and he’s always a good thing! I wonder if when Gimli meets Treebeard in volume 3, they’ll explode in a burst of anti-matter.

II. The Ents assaulting Orthanc. Again, my mental picture of this event was done justice by the reality. Wowwww.

III. Rohan. Another triumph of turning New Zealand countryside into bona-fide Middle Earth. The viking-style huts and halls of the Rohirrim were perfect.

IV. Eowyn. Overall, a nice casting choice for a favorite character, and it’s good they gave her a moment of swingin’ her sword around to show us she’s not just a pouty teenage girl. Very much looking forward to her part in movie 3.

V. Gollum. More on him below, I was of a divided mind on Gollum. But the plus side is, his movement and animation is incredible. Especially his fingers. Gollum should be creepy, and those hands were creepy.

VI. The Black Riders on Winged Steeds. OK, Cthulhu players--THAT is what a shantak looks like! You saw them at Gavigan’s estate in England. Man, those were cool.

VII. Oliphants. Neato!

NOW, STUFF THAT WASN’T SO COOL...

I. Gandalf casting Sauruman out of Theoden like a revivalist preacher banishing demons. What the hell was up with that? Theoden’s depressed, not posessed.

II. Aragorn falling off a cliff during a warg attack. Again I say, what the hell? We all read the books, dudes, we know he’s not dead so there is no suspense involved. I’m presuming it’s so he can have a long dream sequence about Arwen, but couldn’t he have done that just dozing on the wall at Helm’s Deep before the seige, or something? (The only thing that would have redeemed this event was if Gimli/Rhys-Davies had greeted him with his line from Raiders of the Lost Ark: “Oh my friend, I am so pleased you are not dead!” There’s a nerd wish for ya.)

III. The Arwen-Elrond moment. It was like a bad TV drama--”You’re not marrying a mortal, and that’s final! Now get on the boat!”

IV. Elves at Helm’s Deep. Not only were we treated to more of that flaming elf from movie #1, he brought a whole damn army with him. I’m presuming this was because elves are popular, and we need a reason why Helm’s Deep doesn’t get totally squashed. Here’s the thing--and maybe I am being too nitpicky here--but in the book, the seige of Helm’s Deep ends because the ents send these things called huorns, kind of sinister living trees that creep up and surround the orcs and kill them en masse. To me, this would have been a totally amazing visual--looking past the sea of orcs, realizing that the background trees are moving closer, inexorably closer, then some of the backmost orcs start screaming, and then like the thorny bushes in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty suddenly all these branches and thorns are everywhere and the orcs are being pulled down and....and.....aw, man. Instead, we get elves. And then a bunch of Rohan riders. And that’s it. So I’m sad.

V. Gollum. I can’t put my finger on this, exactly, but somehow I feel like Gollum was missing something. Maybe it’s that they played him a little too silly, overplayed the multiple personalities or something. Gollum should be crafty and sinister, as well as annoying and pathetic. I want to re-watch the Ralph Bakshi version, I think; for some reason I remember being really happy with his version of Gollum, but I can’t think what he had that this one doesn’t. But don’t get me wrong, he’s still in the “cool” column.

VI. Faramir. The more I thought about it, the more bothered I was by this; Faramir is supposed to be different from his brother. He’s supposed to grasp the import of Frodo’s quest. Instead, the film has him act just like Boromir, drag Frodo and Sam around for a while planning to take the ring, and then suddenly, inexplicably change his mind and let them go. This Faramir is Boromir warmed over, rather than a clearly defined personality of his own. Why?

VII. Gimli as Comic Relief. Yeah, ok, dwarves are funny. But he’s my favorite character in the books, and he’s coming across with no dignity whatsoever. A little less buffoonish, please, and no more “tossing.”


I guess what it really comes down to is that I don’t see strong cinematic or plotting reasons behind these things. There were other changes that didn’t bother me at all, because they made a certain amount of sense. But these changes that I’m grousing about all just seemed gratuitous and strange to me. I still liked it, I’ll still see it again and buy the DVD and worship it and all that. But I was happier with the first one.

Idiocy is Our Watchword.

For all you aspiring cooks out there, a note:
Zucchinni bread comes out much, much better when you remember to put the sugar in.

No Snow. Doh!

Last night when I went to bed it was snowing hard. 1-3" predicted. I went to sleep with dreams of waking to a winter wonderland (we haven't had one yet this year...) Instead, I wake to a bit of crusty white slush stuck to the leaves I never raked up this year, and that's it. Apparently the temp got up above freezing soon after sunrise, and by the time I hauled my lazy ass out of bed, it was gone. BOOOOOOOOO!!!!

In other news, for those of you keeping track, I finally got word that I am unofficially accepted to start in the Museum Studies program at IUPUI in January despite their having lost, at various times, my application, my GRE scores, and my recommendation letters. It all got found eventually, and I'm apparently IN, just have to wait til the Grad School Admissions dept signs off on it. Still waiting to hear about financial aid. Also have gotten several possible new painting gigs (for my life as a painting prostitute, go to The Painter's Den, or possibly to my home page and click the prostitution link.) It's not really a living, but it's better than nothing. Beats working, as we say!